THE ART OF +1ING

Mahlatse James' Fashion Blog

So I am chilling solo, trying to forge “bed day” vibes and totally damning #FOMO but one issue tap-dancing on my last nerve is the nucleus of a group text conversation I woke up to, just this morning.  As the title of this post definitely suggests; I am about to go into it a bit, about a certain acquired knack required in a case where one is a plus one. You see, strange as this might read, we (together with a few bloggers and social friends) have formed a tiny networks of sorts where we bring about the most random of topics to the roundtable and we just so happened to inter-text terror tales about plus ones. I have been on both sides of the coin, so I know exactly what I’m talking about; here goes an attempt to round up a few… first up; let it be known that there is no special way to presume that a “great” personality translates into a wonderful date, social retards come in all forms imaginable. Can we discuss angry plus ones? Oh the very bane, I say. There is simply no reason to blow fumes all night long merely because the car guard dude ranted about your tight jeans; you knew and people at the vent can’t possibly miss it. Then there is the zero personality guest, this kind grins and claims to be focused on their smart phones and has everyone wondering why even bother to show face, come-on we all know that you don’t have a vocabulary wide enough to can string a conversation that long. I’m pretty sure that everyone has either seen or experienced an uncouth and overly drunk plus one and -you know, the kind you secretly wish to rattle and remind that it is your name on the guest list and not theirs because not only do they feel the burning desire to launch into a full-on rant (usually about themselves) right on the dancefloor. I believe we should petition for a psychosis exam for the type of plus one who wants to take over everything from rights to speak the loudest, to telling the most embarrassing stories about you and ever so often are never too shy to whip out a cell phone while clenching a guest in their elbow for a photo opp!? The last and very far from least; the type of plus one who just won’t get their wardrobe to match an invitation despite countless warnings about the strictness of themes.  I can’t really tell if this is a selfish or silly act. Thankfully, I am not the one to extend invitations to just anyone… can you imagine!? Truth be told, there is an art of +1ing and of you can’t do it well, kindly decline or be a gift from heaven and makeup a reason for missing the event.

Mahlatse James, Trevor Stuurman MJ AND STUFF

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